If there were a title dedicated to someone who could sniff out doubt, it would succeed my name, and I would own it with pride.
I am, in many ways, a professional at sensing doubt. I can track it down wherever its scent lingers—whether it’s within me or in someone else. My brain thrives in the realm of "probably," "maybe," "supposedly," "potentially." Words like "I’m not sure" and "I wonder if" are familiar companions, and I’m comfortable there—arguably, I might even prefer it.
My relationship with doubt began long ago, possibly when I was a child, observing my mother’s face after her long, exhausting days at the market. Her expressions were a code I learned to decode—one minute, a smile; the next, the looming threat of frustration or even anger directed at me. I doubted the sincerity of her smile, wondered how long it would last, and doubted her intentions when she asked me to come closer. In moments like these, doubt became my survival instinct, an internal warning system that constantly kept me on edge. It turned out that what I was experiencing had a name: anxious attachment—a perfect breeding ground for doubt, both internal and external.
Doubt had been with me for as long as I could remember, my only means of making sense of a world that felt unpredictable, even unsafe. It has always been my companion, the shadow that followed me into adulthood, quietly eroding my self-esteem and amplifying fears of abandonment. It fed the rumination, the overthinking—the doubts about whether I was doing or saying the right thing, doubts about whether I was worthy of love, approval, or even my own sense of peace.
Two decades of self-work have taught me one thing: doubt is a tough one to part with. That is why I’ve learned to make peace with it.
Instead of running from it, I decided to understand it—to dissect its many faces and figure out if any of them might be harmless, even beneficial.
Among the various types of doubt I’ve encountered, one has proven the most dangerous. It’s the doubt that attaches itself to successes, joy, resilience—the kind that whispers, "This is too good to be true. It will fall apart soon enough." This particular version of doubt seems to rear its head whenever I rise after a period of hibernation or depression. It settles not only in my mind but also in the minds of my loved ones, casting a shadow on what should be my moments of triumph.
Where is doubt most felt in your life? Do you resist or welcome it?
As I’ve worked through my healing journey, I’ve come to see doubt in a new light. It’s not just the nagging voice of self-sabotage or friends and loved ones losing their confidence in me; it can serve a purpo
se. And that purpose only became clear when I separated doubt from my pathological need to please others. Once I took response-ability to my own life instead of blaming others and ultimately seeking the approval of others. That way, doubt can emanate from anyone and is even allowed to come for the ride, it just won't steer the wheel.
So what good could come from doubt and why will you be better off by embracing it?
1. Doubt Encourages Critical Thinking
Doubt fosters curiosity. Before making assumptions or reacting impulsively, doubt invites us to pause and reflect. It pushes us to question our hypotheses, evaluate the evidence, and seek clarity. In almost every area of life, this engaged curiosity can lead to better decisions, stronger insights, and more thoughtful actions.
2. Confidence, But Not Overconfidence
At first, doubt might seem like a lack of self-confidence. But that’s a misunderstanding. When we engage with doubt, we aren’t letting it paralyze us; instead, we are actively processing it, which can actually strengthen our confidence. When we confront uncertainty, we don’t just emerge with clarity—we emerge with conviction. Doubt prevents the pitfall of overconfidence, reminding us that even when we are certain, it’s good to stay open to new perspectives.
3. Challenge? Bring It On!
Once you become comfortable with doubt and learn to navigate it, you develop resilience. Doubt trains your problem-solving muscles and builds perseverance. You become stronger with each challenge, more capable of handling whatever uncertainty life throws at you. And when you’re used to wrestling with doubt, nothing can truly knock you down.
Doubt has been both my companion and my nemesis. But now, I understand it better. It’s not the enemy I once thought it was. Instead, doubt has been my teacher, my guide—nudging me toward critical thinking, helping me build more balanced confidence, and preparing me for the inevitable challenges life throws my way. So, here’s to doubt—my long-time partner, now turned ally.
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